THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES �
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Squirrel

For the last almost two years i had the most amazing best friend. I called him squirrel. A name which originated from the movie "Up" one of our all time favourotes.

I have never written about him before, although i had promised i would on countless occasions, simply because i didnt think words would do him justice.

An amazing friend like i have never known before. He made everything in life so much better just by being in it.

*pause to wipe eyes*

However things became difficult and soon after a long trip away i lost my best friend to another faculty in varsity. Which involved seeing him at only one subject. A subject which he frequently bunked lectures for.

I missed him terribly. Dont even think he knew how much. He had done what was best for him, and i found myself always sitting next to an emmpty seat.

I started to put off my own work just to spend time with him. And in a way i resented him getting such high marks for classes he was never in. Began to wish id changed degrees the year before when he had asked me not to.

I kept trying but it wasn working. But i loved him, and yet resented him at the same time. I felllt i was the only one doing all the work in the friendship. And it was exhausting me when i saw no return.

I was feeling worse than ever and began realising my friend. My Squirrel. Had changed,

Somehow it was too much. It wasnt doing good for either of us. We couldn joke or laugh together. Or even just understand each other.

And so the most beautiful friendship the world had ever seen had to come to an end.

Yes im crying my eyes out. Yes it hurts like hell. But i will never forget even one second. Because i still love my best friend. My squirrel.

Thankyou for being you squirrel, and for all the amazing memories! You will always have a place in my heart.

Love always
Your monkey-funk
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

13 December

Sunday 13 December 2009

My best friend was struck by lightening on this day.
She was dead for 1.5 mins.

She was dead....

How can you possibly deal with that....
A few hours earlier she was busy on facebook, enjoying life and updating her Facebook status...
And then it happened...

I'm not sure about the details....
But somehow it just didn't matter.

It was so sudden, so unexpected...I had planned her Christmas present, was planning on seeing her...in fact I had already started on planning for her 18th in March...And somehow, in a few seconds that was all taken away...

Granted, she came back to life a minute and a half later...Which I will be thanking God for every single day...But still...she was dead..

I cannot believe how fragile life is...and how I just didn't expect it...to a 70 year old grandparent who was sick? Yes....but to my healthy 17 year old best friend...never...na ah...no way....

And yet it did happen....

Needless to say I was - am - in shock....In fact I had to drink a whole bottle of rescue remedy just to help me sleep that night...
And telling other people...well that is probably the hardest thing...how do you tell someone that your best friend is lying in ICU because she got struck by lightening???

It sounds so unbelievable doesn't it?...I mean my sister actually laughed from pure disbelief and shock the first time I told her....


And so I sit here now...a whole two days later...and I am still in shock...yet I want to make my best friend's life even more amazing than before...I want to make sure that I treasure her and tell her how much I love her every single day....because I honestly can't believe how unexpected life is...

Love you k my Angel

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Letter One (day 1 of 6)

Prologue

These are a series of letters that I wrote to a person that I loved very much, and still do, who will be called my Angel or Angel for the p[purpose of anonymity. I went away in June to a place that had no cell phone signal and electricity, and my phone wasn't working. So I promised my Angel that I would write to Angel everyday, and I did.
These are those letters.


Monday

I woke up very early this morning at around 3AM. It was very cold and dark, and when you breathed out the air, it made little misty patches in front of your eyes, so that the stars went all blurry and pretty.
I wrapped myself in layers and layers of coloured jerseys, orange-red-blue-coral-turquoise. And neglected to put on make up, it was too cold and too early to worry about such trivial things.
Besides, I missed you already, and I was sad to leave.

Most of the country is ice cold in the middle of winter, but it must have been much colder this morning, maybe about -1 degrees. But I knew where I was going it was going to be very hot, so I just curled up and went to sleep.

We stopped for breakfast in Ermelo, i think, I'm not really good with all the names that early. And the sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon. There was a church opposite the Engen-one-stop ans it was painted white. It shone so brilliantly with hope and happiness when the sun touched it, that I couldn't possibly feel sad anymore. But I still wished you could have been with me to enjoy it.

We drove through so much landscape and little towns. There were forests of trees that stood swaying in the breeze. The kind of forests were if you looked at them when driving past, you could see down the perfect diagonal lines all the way to the bright light on the other end. It is quite mesmerising.

I slept a lot during the first half of the journey, maybe because it was dark or maybe because I was tired, or maybe because I was missing you.
When I eventually awoke, we had entered the grassy and dry hills of KZN.

It was like walking into a country were God or someone had spilt a huge packet of liquorice Allsorts all over the countryside.
there were rectangular houses with three layers painted on them, light colours for the first half of the wall, bright colours for the second half, and a very dark roof on top. There were little round huts all with brightly painted walls and little black roofs to top them off in the middle. And there were little dome shaped building usually light blue-silver-grey in colour. (The outhouses).

It was such an amazing sight to behold, that I couldn't take my eyes off it. On and on went the hills people and buildings for miles and miles. Some had satellite dishes and things.
It fascinated me.

It started to get warmer and more and more sugar cane appeared as we neared Pongola. You could almost taste the sweetness in the air.
I knew we were nearing our destination then, but didn't realise we still had such a far way to go.

It was such a long tedious drive, and my sister can never quite handle being still. She always has to push and shove and get upset, which is quite irritating, but we all bore it.
The air got hotter and hotter and the land drier and drier. The people got less interesting looking, but their way of life was amazing.

They were growing pineapples just about anywhere and peoples cattle were just roaming around free. Almost as though they belonged to nobody. The women were all standing on the sides of the road with huge barrels, waiting for the water truck to come along, and give them an everyday necessity that we take for granted. I felt sorry for these people, their lives were such much more difficult than my own. Eventually I felt so guilty and bad. that I couldn't look them in the eyes anymore as we drove past.

It was midday and sweltering with heat, and we phoned to get directions from the place we were staying, and in the middle, the cell phone signal disappeared. I twas almost like losing you physically, to know that I couldn't speak to you for so long.

But I held it in.

There was a sign on the road that said 'no fencing', I thought it meant people mustn't fight, and made such a comment. My mom thought it was hilarious because i didn't realise that is meant that there were no fences.

We arrived at the final place, Kosi bay. It was an interesting mix of cultures. And colours. And smells. I felt like an American tourist, the way people stared at us.
We were picked up by the travel guide and taken on a very long and bumpy ride through the bush veld, and into the nature reserve. Along the way we saw the 'laundromat'- a river next to the road, and many different kinds of houses. Built out of stones with wood in between for cement, and rocks and actual bricks that were painted. But funniest of all was the double storey 'shack' complete with balcony and satellite dish.

It was wonderful to finally arrive and the people were all so wonderful.

Our rooms were these hugs tents on log cabin bottoms. It was quite fascinating, because they were made so well, and looked so amazing. not ugly at all. Lunch was perfect and just what I needed.

We then went on this really long walk through the countryside, were we learnt all about the isiMangiliso wetland park and the ecosystems and things. We also learned all about Tswana culture and took a raft across the river just like they did. I'm glad we did. Because on the other side, just while the sun was setting over the lake. We found a beautiful beach, where the sand was blue. I'm not kidding it was blue sand. It was so amazing that I had to take some of it, along with the clear water, just to show you.

We got back and had a wonderful time relaxing before the campfire (did I mention we were the only guests)
And then enjoyed an amazing three course dinner. mmm...

I love this place. It is so wonderful to sit here in my bed covered by mists of mosquito nets and to write to you by light of a paraffin lamp.

The only thing that would make it better, is if you were here to experience and enjoy it with me.


Thursday, September 17, 2009

Maths Class

Maths Class

I sat in the row behind you in Maths class
last night....
I couldn't stop looking at you...
Your hair is always perfectly styled everyday, and that
suits me just fine
because that is almost always what I see of you....

I sat in the row behind you in Maths class
last night...
Your clothes hugged your body and fit you perfectly...
I blushed when I thought you realised that I,
was staring at you
but you didn't....unfortunately

I sat in the row behind you in Maths class
last night...
Your relaxed attitude put me at ease...
The way your hand moves over the page as it writes....
You make me want to hold that hand,
of yours
But I cant...not yet

I sat behind you in Maths class
last night...
Your laugh is amazing....
it send shivers down my spine...
You make me want to be perfect,
for you
And I really am trying to

I sat behind you in Maths class
last night...
I really want to ask you out...
But maybe I must get to know you first...
And then when the time finally comes,
and its right
I'll sit next to you


(Dedicated to someone special)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

My own Twilight

I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you
Trying to figure out your darker life and the things you kept hidden and secret.
And you were always there for me, popping up when I least expected, and saving me from things.

you loved me and accepted me and told me I was beautiful and all those things...
And you promised never to leave me...

You thought you were hurting me, were making my life dangerous,
That I would be better off without you...
So in a whirlwind...after a perfect and wonderful time with only a few problems...
You left...
I tried to find you for a while....But got lost...Exhausted...Dazed...Confused....
Most of all....Hurt....

It felt as though my heart had been pulled from chest, and I had lost my complete reason for living
I was completely numb...When they found me...And slept it out...
I remember doing well at school...Pretending that everything was fine...And succeeding
Yet I couldn't fool anyone...Not even myself...
Those long months that you were gone...Sucked the life out of me...

I wondered if you had moved on...And though you probably had...
I didn't understand why you left...There was no real reason...
I tried to find ways to get you back....Even just your voice in my head...
Or the memories of you being angry with me....anything...Just to remember you...

A friend was there...The only reason why my life had not completely ended...
I found myself spending more and more time with them...
Trusting in them...Giving away more of myself than I should have....
Trying to find some happiness...And maybe giving them the wrong idea....
And ended up in a relationship of sorts...Without my consent...

And suddenly out of nowhere you were back....
I saw you again....Almost like a vision or dream appearing out of mist...
The haze that had become my life...
And so with it came back all the agony...The pain...the questions....
And yet still a sense of mystery around you....
A feeling that I knew something had happened...Something I wouldn't like...

You met my 'friend' and hated him instantly....
I suppose that you always had...
I suppose that it hurt you to know that he had been there for me....
Even though you had urged me to forget you and just move on....

Those first few days were confusing...
I didn't know where I stood anymore...And I tried to make sense of it all...

But then it happened...We were closer than ever before....

And i love you even more....

Life was perfect...And we were perfect...
Happy and unaware that something dark was looming...

And then before I knew it....At a celebration of sorts...
The truth comes out....That girl is your ex....Yes the one with the pretty face...
The one that never quite liked me....
And it hurt...But suddenly all made complete sense as everything fell into place...

But you didn't really love her....no you loved me....
We were supposed to be together....And you promised...
And you kissed me...
And it tried to forget...Although already forgiven....

And even after all the drama....And the fighting and the war...
I still am waiting for my happy eternity with you after all....

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Love and Skating

Love and Skating, two things that to you may seem almost complete opposites, and yet to me they have everything in common.

I absolutely love ice skating, to me it is like breathing. So effortless and so easy. You can glide across the ice without a worry or care in the world, it just sets me free. It also leaves my mind free to think of other things, things that might be bothering me.

Love is tha reason for living, the whole point of our existence is to find true selfless love. A love where you give so much love to the other person and yet expect none in return. Love makes the world go round and is the reason why you and I are still alive today.

Love is exactly like ice skating. Trying on a new pair of skates is like having a crush on someone, and working up the courage to step on the ice or ask them out is the next step. Then you have to try to figure out how to skate and make the relationship work, by getting to know the other element better. From then on its all smooth gliding for a while, as easy and effortless as breathing. Perfect turns and glides.
Then along comes the tiny fights and the slight trips and falls. But you get up again and try again, dirty but willing. You decide to move faster then, pushing yourself to the limit, and before you know it, you are hurtling at top speed. But suddenly somebody comes in the way, an obstacle in your beautiful almost perfect pathway. An obstacle that you have to stop for because even if you try to go around it you will fall.
So you stop, take a little break, and then get going again. This time you are going even faster than before, because you are thrown in the deep end straight away. But this time the obstacle comes out of nowhere, like skating backwards, you just didn't see it coming. You crash and hurt yourself. And before you know it, your lying on the ice dizzy and confused. Maybe even crying, trying to figure out what happened and what went wrong.
You get off the ice in anyway possible and so hurt that you can't think about anything else for a while. You in fact don't ever want to try again for a very long time.
But then a reason comes along and you realise that trying again might not be so bad.

Yes love and skating seem abstract at first, but after a while you realise that they are as much the same as a knife and fork...And if you don't believe me just give them both a try...The skating and love, not the knife and fork...