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Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Year 2009

The Year 2009

Wow wee what a year! I can't believe that a whole year has already gone past!

What is even more scary is the fact that I have now lived through 2 decades. I was born at the start of the 'nineties' (such horrible fashion) and then lived through the 'naughties' (which at the beginning had its own fashion crimes). But what makes me feel really old is when I look at my i pod and it has a playlist called '90s classics', like wow, the nineties are classics now? before it was like the eighties or seventies...

So another year has gone past and what a year it was too.

for me the year 2009 will be remembered for the following things:


  • I went to varsity for the first time
  • I finally got my drivers license
  • I met some really awesome friends (Tim, Tom, Matt, Rigs, Binks, Nic, and so many more)
  • The person I was together with for almost 2 years and I, had a break up
  • I became closer friends with my best friend in the whole world
  • I nearly lost the same friend, when she got struck by lightening
  • I found out my sister was going to live in France for a year
  • I taught piano to lots of children, and had to run a piano school on my own for 4 months
  • I failed a subject for the first time in my life
  • I lost a great grandfather, an aunt, and two close friends
  • I had to give my rabbits away to a zoo farm
  • I started to blog (';')
  • I started pilates and jogging every morning
  • I took part in my first figure skating show
  • I began to tackle my dream of becoming a fashion designer by studying fashion design part time
  • I finally found myself
  • I learnt to appreciate life and now I absolutely love it, my new saying is "isn't life wonderful?"

In retrospect 2009 was a wonderful time for me, even though there were some really dark moments, it turns out that we can all cope with what life throws at us...

So now that the decade is over (the decade that many people thought would never even come along), here's to another one, one which I will exit from being a lot a lot older, something I don't even want to think of!

soooo...

Happy New Years everyone! May it be fantastic and blessed, and in every way 2010 times better than 2009
(';')

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

13 December

Sunday 13 December 2009

My best friend was struck by lightening on this day.
She was dead for 1.5 mins.

She was dead....

How can you possibly deal with that....
A few hours earlier she was busy on facebook, enjoying life and updating her Facebook status...
And then it happened...

I'm not sure about the details....
But somehow it just didn't matter.

It was so sudden, so unexpected...I had planned her Christmas present, was planning on seeing her...in fact I had already started on planning for her 18th in March...And somehow, in a few seconds that was all taken away...

Granted, she came back to life a minute and a half later...Which I will be thanking God for every single day...But still...she was dead..

I cannot believe how fragile life is...and how I just didn't expect it...to a 70 year old grandparent who was sick? Yes....but to my healthy 17 year old best friend...never...na ah...no way....

And yet it did happen....

Needless to say I was - am - in shock....In fact I had to drink a whole bottle of rescue remedy just to help me sleep that night...
And telling other people...well that is probably the hardest thing...how do you tell someone that your best friend is lying in ICU because she got struck by lightening???

It sounds so unbelievable doesn't it?...I mean my sister actually laughed from pure disbelief and shock the first time I told her....


And so I sit here now...a whole two days later...and I am still in shock...yet I want to make my best friend's life even more amazing than before...I want to make sure that I treasure her and tell her how much I love her every single day....because I honestly can't believe how unexpected life is...

Love you k my Angel

Friday, November 13, 2009

"write love on your arms"


My input for international 'write love on your arms day' (13 november) which helps to combat depression by letting people write on their forearms instead of cutting them. A matter very close to my heart.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

My first corset


This is the first corset that i have ever made. Created and sewed it yesterday in about 8 hours. Not perfect, but better than most, and absolutely gorgeously stunning. Complete with silver ribbon tie in the back

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Looking around

Looking Around

So I've been looking around the web for blogs and been doing a bit of research on them. Yet I can seem to figure out how you can get more traffic to your blog. It is dam well disheartening to know that you are sharing your life with the world, and yet the world does not want to sit up and take notice.

Could this possibly have anything to do with the fact that I dont live in America...hmmm makes you think.
But maybe my blog will be more popular next year when the worlds focus will be upon South Africa.

Another point I noticed about blogs was that the popular ones are usually quirky, and that the bloggers are usually not afraid to speak their mind. I'm not sure about the quirkiness part, but I definitely have my very own definite if somewhat explosive personality, and I always speak my mind.

So I have begun to decorate my blog and make it more personal, even adding another blog to my profile which I one day hope to turn into a mini novel. Purely because I have so much to say and I just want to share it with the world.

So to all of you who read this and understand where I am coming from, please follow me or just leave a comment. I want to know what I am doing right and what I'm not.
And if you just want to know what life is like in South Africa before you come here next year, then follow me as well. I am an uncensored and blunt version of th goings on and beauty of my country.

Signing off yet again

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hail or snow?


Just one of the many pictures i took of the hail while driving. It came down so hard and so much that it covered the entire road in a thick blanket. All traffic came to a standstill and everyone was taking pictures. Just another strange occurrence in 32 degree weather in south africa!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Varsity


The centre court of my varsity. Green grass, green trees, clean lawn and a fountain. What more could you ask for from a government institution? Awesome!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Letter One (day 1 of 6)

Prologue

These are a series of letters that I wrote to a person that I loved very much, and still do, who will be called my Angel or Angel for the p[purpose of anonymity. I went away in June to a place that had no cell phone signal and electricity, and my phone wasn't working. So I promised my Angel that I would write to Angel everyday, and I did.
These are those letters.


Monday

I woke up very early this morning at around 3AM. It was very cold and dark, and when you breathed out the air, it made little misty patches in front of your eyes, so that the stars went all blurry and pretty.
I wrapped myself in layers and layers of coloured jerseys, orange-red-blue-coral-turquoise. And neglected to put on make up, it was too cold and too early to worry about such trivial things.
Besides, I missed you already, and I was sad to leave.

Most of the country is ice cold in the middle of winter, but it must have been much colder this morning, maybe about -1 degrees. But I knew where I was going it was going to be very hot, so I just curled up and went to sleep.

We stopped for breakfast in Ermelo, i think, I'm not really good with all the names that early. And the sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon. There was a church opposite the Engen-one-stop ans it was painted white. It shone so brilliantly with hope and happiness when the sun touched it, that I couldn't possibly feel sad anymore. But I still wished you could have been with me to enjoy it.

We drove through so much landscape and little towns. There were forests of trees that stood swaying in the breeze. The kind of forests were if you looked at them when driving past, you could see down the perfect diagonal lines all the way to the bright light on the other end. It is quite mesmerising.

I slept a lot during the first half of the journey, maybe because it was dark or maybe because I was tired, or maybe because I was missing you.
When I eventually awoke, we had entered the grassy and dry hills of KZN.

It was like walking into a country were God or someone had spilt a huge packet of liquorice Allsorts all over the countryside.
there were rectangular houses with three layers painted on them, light colours for the first half of the wall, bright colours for the second half, and a very dark roof on top. There were little round huts all with brightly painted walls and little black roofs to top them off in the middle. And there were little dome shaped building usually light blue-silver-grey in colour. (The outhouses).

It was such an amazing sight to behold, that I couldn't take my eyes off it. On and on went the hills people and buildings for miles and miles. Some had satellite dishes and things.
It fascinated me.

It started to get warmer and more and more sugar cane appeared as we neared Pongola. You could almost taste the sweetness in the air.
I knew we were nearing our destination then, but didn't realise we still had such a far way to go.

It was such a long tedious drive, and my sister can never quite handle being still. She always has to push and shove and get upset, which is quite irritating, but we all bore it.
The air got hotter and hotter and the land drier and drier. The people got less interesting looking, but their way of life was amazing.

They were growing pineapples just about anywhere and peoples cattle were just roaming around free. Almost as though they belonged to nobody. The women were all standing on the sides of the road with huge barrels, waiting for the water truck to come along, and give them an everyday necessity that we take for granted. I felt sorry for these people, their lives were such much more difficult than my own. Eventually I felt so guilty and bad. that I couldn't look them in the eyes anymore as we drove past.

It was midday and sweltering with heat, and we phoned to get directions from the place we were staying, and in the middle, the cell phone signal disappeared. I twas almost like losing you physically, to know that I couldn't speak to you for so long.

But I held it in.

There was a sign on the road that said 'no fencing', I thought it meant people mustn't fight, and made such a comment. My mom thought it was hilarious because i didn't realise that is meant that there were no fences.

We arrived at the final place, Kosi bay. It was an interesting mix of cultures. And colours. And smells. I felt like an American tourist, the way people stared at us.
We were picked up by the travel guide and taken on a very long and bumpy ride through the bush veld, and into the nature reserve. Along the way we saw the 'laundromat'- a river next to the road, and many different kinds of houses. Built out of stones with wood in between for cement, and rocks and actual bricks that were painted. But funniest of all was the double storey 'shack' complete with balcony and satellite dish.

It was wonderful to finally arrive and the people were all so wonderful.

Our rooms were these hugs tents on log cabin bottoms. It was quite fascinating, because they were made so well, and looked so amazing. not ugly at all. Lunch was perfect and just what I needed.

We then went on this really long walk through the countryside, were we learnt all about the isiMangiliso wetland park and the ecosystems and things. We also learned all about Tswana culture and took a raft across the river just like they did. I'm glad we did. Because on the other side, just while the sun was setting over the lake. We found a beautiful beach, where the sand was blue. I'm not kidding it was blue sand. It was so amazing that I had to take some of it, along with the clear water, just to show you.

We got back and had a wonderful time relaxing before the campfire (did I mention we were the only guests)
And then enjoyed an amazing three course dinner. mmm...

I love this place. It is so wonderful to sit here in my bed covered by mists of mosquito nets and to write to you by light of a paraffin lamp.

The only thing that would make it better, is if you were here to experience and enjoy it with me.


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Spring in south africa


A beautiful spring day in joburg south africa, showing the blue skies, green leaves and peach blossoms...mmm you can almost taste the air...I love spring

The Perfect cup of Coffee


You think that making coffee is easy, and not an art form...And that it is 'just a cup of coffee' think again

Steps to making me the perfect cup of coffee:

1. The coffee must be proper coffee, the kind where when you inhale the fine aroma it lingers in your senses for long after....mmmm

2. The mug must be the tallest, longest and thinnest that you can find. This makes the coffee taste much better, trust me on it

3. Add two, almost level, teaspoons of the coffee into this mug

4. Make sure that the milk is straight out of the fridge and that it has the lowest fat percentage possible (i.e. Fat Free Milk)

5. Add the milk into the mug over the coffee, till it is about 2.5 cms high. No more and no less.

6. Make sure that the kettle has boiled till it is steamy.

7. Pour the water from the kettle into the mug along with the coffee and milk, do it slowly, and stop when the level i about 0.8 cms away from the rim of the mug.

8. Now take the teaspoon and stir the coffee very slowly, until everything has dissolved.

9. The coffee should now appear to be a very light golden brown colour. The colour of liquid gold (which it really is)

10. Serve coffee immediately, because it is now the right temperature and texture


Still think making a cup of coffee is easy?

Fashion Week


I was brimming with excitement this year for fashion Week. After missing the spring/summer one, I had already made up my mind to go the Autumn/Winter one.

But which show should I choose to go to?

I was just deliberating this all important question, when suddenly a little message popped up in my FaceBook inbox.

It told me all about the Barbie 50th anniversary fashion show, and how there were tons of different designers all showing on the same catwalk.

Needles to say, they had me at "Barbie"

Ever since I was a little a girl, I always used to design and make clothes for my own Barbies...And here I was able to finally see what designers would design if they could dress their very won Barbie doll. Talk about a dream come true.

***

I already knew the whole history of Barbie. So as a tribute to the first ever Barbie doll, I decided to wear a black and white outfit, a long flowing handkerchief style dress.

The exhibit before the show was amazing. All the collaborations of designers in SA showed me that they are more united than overseas designers. Their designs were all so original and all made use of clever ways to save on resources.

The Barbie show itself was more than amazing. I was so excited to be sitting in that area. And even more over the moon that I was sitting in the row behind the designers themselves, JJ Schoeman, Malcolm Kluk, Black coffee etc, and our very own UJ.
From my excellent vantage point, I could also see Dion Chang, Tiaan Nagel and other famous fashion icons.

It was just too amazing to be true.

The show started with a slide show of Barbies through the ages, and then all the models appeared. All sporting such amazing outfits that is literally blew my mind away.

Some designers had even used fake blonde hair to create dresses and such. Nut my highlights were definitely JJ Schoeman, Kluk and UJ. All of who completely took the true spirit of Barbie and embodied it in their designs.

Afterwards goody bags were handed out to the very lucky few, of which I was one...


This was truly an amazing night and I was so fortunate to be able to attend it and get tickets for such a limited event.

And hopefully when Barbies 60th anniversary rolls around, I will be called upon to design clothes for her...


Thursday, September 17, 2009

Maths Class

Maths Class

I sat in the row behind you in Maths class
last night....
I couldn't stop looking at you...
Your hair is always perfectly styled everyday, and that
suits me just fine
because that is almost always what I see of you....

I sat in the row behind you in Maths class
last night...
Your clothes hugged your body and fit you perfectly...
I blushed when I thought you realised that I,
was staring at you
but you didn't....unfortunately

I sat in the row behind you in Maths class
last night...
Your relaxed attitude put me at ease...
The way your hand moves over the page as it writes....
You make me want to hold that hand,
of yours
But I cant...not yet

I sat behind you in Maths class
last night...
Your laugh is amazing....
it send shivers down my spine...
You make me want to be perfect,
for you
And I really am trying to

I sat behind you in Maths class
last night...
I really want to ask you out...
But maybe I must get to know you first...
And then when the time finally comes,
and its right
I'll sit next to you


(Dedicated to someone special)

Lena

On 27 August 2009, the day I had been wating for all year finally arrived. And no it was not about passing my drivers (which I did) but rather about our 'mystical' exchange student from Germany who was coming to stay with us.

So Lena arrived.

She is honestly the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for. She fit right into our family and we have been having crazy times ever since. She has taught me to read in German, which is NOT AT ALL like Afrikaans, and which I truly tried hard at, but can never talk as fast as she does.

We have laughed and giggled and shared secrets and gossiped. And suddenly I feel like all my cares have been lifted away. When I am with her, I dont have to be the responsible adult who goes around working and dropping off children. But instead I can be silly and childlike...Completely carefree...

Lena is slowly become my best friend...one that havent had in a while...she is also my sister...And I am going to cry my eyes out when she leaves...

We have already done so much together...Taken photos of zebras at the zoo...eaten pizza...Shared hair and make up and horrible allergy stories...Watched a ballet...Watched too many movies together...And laughed ourselves sillly when we couldnt understand each other or other people....

Many more amazing times are sure to come....I just wish that she could stay longer...

Friday, June 5, 2009

Cures for Psychological instabilitities

Humorous cures for some Psychological instabilities:

*Depression - Watch the Steve Wilkos show, and instead of looking at the topic. Look at his facial
expressions and the way he acts...Especially when he reads the letters out at the
end. Absolutely hilarious and will be sure to make you laugh till you cry and chase
those blues away.

*Anorexia - Watch 'Kung Fu panda' the movie. The amount of food that flies in front of your
eyes, the amount of times they mention food, and the number of times they eat in
that movie is absolutely award-winning. If you don't reach the credits and hear your
stomach begging you for food then...watch it again. And if you even make it that far
without having to hit the pause button to go get some noodles, then you are truly
wonderful.

...more to come...watch out...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

My own Twilight

I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you
Trying to figure out your darker life and the things you kept hidden and secret.
And you were always there for me, popping up when I least expected, and saving me from things.

you loved me and accepted me and told me I was beautiful and all those things...
And you promised never to leave me...

You thought you were hurting me, were making my life dangerous,
That I would be better off without you...
So in a whirlwind...after a perfect and wonderful time with only a few problems...
You left...
I tried to find you for a while....But got lost...Exhausted...Dazed...Confused....
Most of all....Hurt....

It felt as though my heart had been pulled from chest, and I had lost my complete reason for living
I was completely numb...When they found me...And slept it out...
I remember doing well at school...Pretending that everything was fine...And succeeding
Yet I couldn't fool anyone...Not even myself...
Those long months that you were gone...Sucked the life out of me...

I wondered if you had moved on...And though you probably had...
I didn't understand why you left...There was no real reason...
I tried to find ways to get you back....Even just your voice in my head...
Or the memories of you being angry with me....anything...Just to remember you...

A friend was there...The only reason why my life had not completely ended...
I found myself spending more and more time with them...
Trusting in them...Giving away more of myself than I should have....
Trying to find some happiness...And maybe giving them the wrong idea....
And ended up in a relationship of sorts...Without my consent...

And suddenly out of nowhere you were back....
I saw you again....Almost like a vision or dream appearing out of mist...
The haze that had become my life...
And so with it came back all the agony...The pain...the questions....
And yet still a sense of mystery around you....
A feeling that I knew something had happened...Something I wouldn't like...

You met my 'friend' and hated him instantly....
I suppose that you always had...
I suppose that it hurt you to know that he had been there for me....
Even though you had urged me to forget you and just move on....

Those first few days were confusing...
I didn't know where I stood anymore...And I tried to make sense of it all...

But then it happened...We were closer than ever before....

And i love you even more....

Life was perfect...And we were perfect...
Happy and unaware that something dark was looming...

And then before I knew it....At a celebration of sorts...
The truth comes out....That girl is your ex....Yes the one with the pretty face...
The one that never quite liked me....
And it hurt...But suddenly all made complete sense as everything fell into place...

But you didn't really love her....no you loved me....
We were supposed to be together....And you promised...
And you kissed me...
And it tried to forget...Although already forgiven....

And even after all the drama....And the fighting and the war...
I still am waiting for my happy eternity with you after all....

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Love and Skating

Love and Skating, two things that to you may seem almost complete opposites, and yet to me they have everything in common.

I absolutely love ice skating, to me it is like breathing. So effortless and so easy. You can glide across the ice without a worry or care in the world, it just sets me free. It also leaves my mind free to think of other things, things that might be bothering me.

Love is tha reason for living, the whole point of our existence is to find true selfless love. A love where you give so much love to the other person and yet expect none in return. Love makes the world go round and is the reason why you and I are still alive today.

Love is exactly like ice skating. Trying on a new pair of skates is like having a crush on someone, and working up the courage to step on the ice or ask them out is the next step. Then you have to try to figure out how to skate and make the relationship work, by getting to know the other element better. From then on its all smooth gliding for a while, as easy and effortless as breathing. Perfect turns and glides.
Then along comes the tiny fights and the slight trips and falls. But you get up again and try again, dirty but willing. You decide to move faster then, pushing yourself to the limit, and before you know it, you are hurtling at top speed. But suddenly somebody comes in the way, an obstacle in your beautiful almost perfect pathway. An obstacle that you have to stop for because even if you try to go around it you will fall.
So you stop, take a little break, and then get going again. This time you are going even faster than before, because you are thrown in the deep end straight away. But this time the obstacle comes out of nowhere, like skating backwards, you just didn't see it coming. You crash and hurt yourself. And before you know it, your lying on the ice dizzy and confused. Maybe even crying, trying to figure out what happened and what went wrong.
You get off the ice in anyway possible and so hurt that you can't think about anything else for a while. You in fact don't ever want to try again for a very long time.
But then a reason comes along and you realise that trying again might not be so bad.

Yes love and skating seem abstract at first, but after a while you realise that they are as much the same as a knife and fork...And if you don't believe me just give them both a try...The skating and love, not the knife and fork...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Piles of presents and Birthday bests

Today the 11th of March is 1 month to my birthday. (So now you all know when my birthday is). And even though I absolutely hate the thought of getting older, I realise that it is one part of life that is absolutely inevitable.

Up to a year ago, I was so excited for my birthday that starting 2 months before I would count down the days. And every person around me would know exactly how many day were left to my birthday. Just so that they wouldn't forget ;) , which most people do because my birthday is usually near Easter so that is what they are thinking about.

This year however, I have kept the number of days very quiet and secret, until now, because I really don't want to be reminded of how old I am. I am hoping that the day will pass by without much event, and if I am lucky I might even be away. The only thing that I like about my birthday, and the only reason as to why I cannot forget about it all together is because of the oppurtunity of receving presents.

Receiving presents is wonderful. I love feeling of excitement that overcomes you as you have to get through the wrapping paper/tissue paper/cellophane. And then finally after breaking a few nails trying to get off the sellotape, there is your present in all its amazing glory. It doesn't matter what it is, you could have spent R5 on it, it wouldn't matter to me. I love each and every present for the simple joy of receiving it and being able to unwrap it.

Although there are a few things I ask people for every year because 1. it would be wierd if I bought it for myself, 2. I can't buy it myself. The only problem with doing this is that nobody usually buys said present for you, because every person thinks another person has already bought it. Last year i asked for a Me-to-you 18th birthday teddy bear. However I think the directions it was given were wrong, because it sadly never arrived. And I couldn't very well buy it myself, and now I'm nearly 19 so won't be able to ever get said teddy bear.

But I'm not fussy, this year i just decide to compose a mental list of everything I like. i.e. paint or art supplies and Twilight.
So ia sked my mom to get me a proper easel for my birthday, but I'm not really sure that she will remember even though I did kindly write it in her diary for her like she asked me to.
That and my own series of all the twilight book should be wonderful, given the fact that I don't have my own first original copy of Twilight due to reasons that only Lebz knows ;) and that fact that my sister won't let me borrow her series a second time.

I bought myself the Twilight soundtrack from the movie, and it's wonderful. Now all I need is the actual book of sheet music to accompany it, so that I can play those wonderful songs on the piano. I will however be buying my own copy of the Dvd the day it is released.

But speaking of piano I am planning on suprising my best friend by playing her favourite song to her on her Birthady, just 8 short days away, which i hope she will enjoy. Getting the music and practising the song is quite hard work.

But hey Birthdays are special days and people's lives and so they really need to be spoilt.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Political correctness

Living in South Africa means that you are constantly surrounded by politics and fighting. If it's not refugees or xenephobia then its conspiratorial attacks on the governement and political fighting.

Yesterday prime minister Morgan T had a very bad car 'accident' in which his wife Susan was killed. Almost everyone knows it and thinks it but nobody will dare to say out aloud that it was most definitely not an accident. But it will have to be proved, if such an 'accident' happens again. Especially since Morgan survived.

Back on home soil the political parties are all waging their own wars against each other. Every light pole that you drive past on the road has a placard of a sickly smiling 'future president' pronouncing their motos. And they all seem to be taking pages from America's political race book. With almost every party having a woman leader, and all of them targeting specifically the youth.

However you have to wonder if it is at all worth it. We are after all probably the only country that has only had ex-convicts for presidents. And now with JZ running as head of the ANC you have to wonder what on earth people would be thinking voting for a man who thinks you can't get AIDS if you shower after having sex. And how on earth did he manage to escape from going to prison anyway?

With the new break away party COPE formed, a new threat is posed. But instead of the other leading party joining with COPE so as to get an almost certain win, they are instead attacking them making it even more likely for both of them to lose.

Unlike Americans, South Africans seem to vote for parties and not presidents. So because the ANC brought us out of apartheid back in the day, many people will still vote blindly for them now without even thinking about who the president will be. I would gladly vote for COPE just so that JZ doesn't have to become president. (Join my facebook group of the same name if you feel the same way) Anything to save South Africa from that man and his machine guns.

I feel like telling that to the world and making the youth of South Africa see that they must vote for a president and not a party. And that they don't have to vote the way their parents/grandparents tell them to. Times have changed and so have parties. Just because I am caucasian doesn't mean I have to vote DA. I was thinking about starting a youth march protesting and making the youth aware of this. Because I really feel as though I/we are not doing enough to help with the way our country is going.

***
If you too feel strongly please join my face book group or create your own. Just do whatever is possible to help the future of our country, and spread the word. Don't just sit back and say that you will move one day.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

A-U-T-U-M-N

When I was younger, the only thing that I knew about Autumn was that I couldn't spell it. At least not until my Dad taught me a rhyme to do so: AU-TU-MN Autumn.

Now that I'm older I realise that Autumn is the season with the greatest appeal to every one of the five senses.
  • You can feel Autumn in the nippy wind that blows early in the morning. The one that you can't brave without a jersey or jacket on. Preferably woolen, so that you can feel the texture against your skin and the way it protects and comforts you from the outside elements.
  • You can see Autumn in the multitude of colours that the wind picks up and swirls around you in a blur so colourful that it makes any rainbow jealous. While the pale blue-grey sky lays like an artists background making the colours appear even fresher and brighter.
  • You can smell Autumn in the fresh clean cool air that seems to bring with it a wholeness and homeliness. You can almost taste cinnamon, freshly cut wood and spices in the wind.
  • You can hear Autumn in the sounds of silence. And the tread of feet down a pathway, and over crunchy leaves just being raked away into a pile, so that you can jump in it with your scarf wound tightly around your neck.
  • You can taste Autumn in the way it makes you hunger for peace and a sense of new beggining. A time when everything and anyone has a chance to start anew, and let go of the past and what belongs to it.

Now I realise that Autumn is the season that has the greatest significance in our lives, because it is the season that can be related to most easily, and be understood because of its relation to human nature.

Yes, I am trluy glad that Autumn is here now. And so with the words out of 'You've got mail' "I wish a could give you all a bunch of freshly sharpened pencils", and wish you a happy Autumn.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Not just a name

You know how it is when you meet new people?
They always point, with blank looks on their faces, at you, while they are trying to introduce you to some distant friend of theirs. And ask the dreaded question "And you are...?"

well how on earth do you even go about answering a question like that? Yes I know that they simply want my name.

But is my name really who I am?
Of course not...

Those two (or three words if you're really lucky) have almost nothing in common with you, except the fact that your parents gave them to you when you were so tiny you couldn't possibly protest. If you could you probably wouldn't have let them name you that. Especially since that name describes absolutely nothing about who you are as a person.

***
My dad and mom had bought a huge name book, solely for the purpose of having nine glorious months to read through it languidly and choose a name that they thought would fit best.
Unfortunately as everyone knows, when you have too long a period of time to accomplish something you usually put it off till the very last minute.
So there sat my dad, just a week before I was due, reading the name book. He had accomplished the feat of reaching the very far off letters of 'An' and happened upon the name 'Anastasia'. So he looks up to my mom and says, "What do you think of Stacey?" and so it was to be. I was given the name Stacey.
***
Although I am a Stacey, and one of millions I can assure you, and have the name with the greatest number of different ways to spell it, (21 different and accepted ways to be exact) that
it says almost nothing about me as a person. I could be anyone, boy or girl, old or young, any multitude of races and religions. And yet I am just me.
When I think of myself and who I am, I never think of myself as just a name. Not when the name is not quite so diverse and rich enough to tell the person who asked the question exactly who I am.
But I will still answer their question with the same reply everytime; "Stacey", and let them find out for themselves who I really am.